How to have memorable 121s

Did anyone's parents ever tell you not to speak to strangers?

Yeh, same! So no wonder we get apprehensive when we have to have a 121, let alone attending a networking event with the intention of speaking to strangers!

So, how do you turn those potentially awkward networking moments into something genuinely memorable?

Forget the hard sell because no one likes that! We ALL see that person in the street trying to sell you something, and what do we do? Put our headphones on, turn the music up, quicken our steps, make zero eye contact and Keep. It. Moving! 🤣 And it's even more awkward when someone does that in a 121 when you can't escape as easily!

Let's avoid being that person shall we?!

Whether you're having a 121 online or in person I've learned it all boils down to being a genuinely curious human. Use the time t9 find out about the other person, why they do what they do, what got them into their profession etc. Find some common interests, you will be surprised!

I recently had a couple of these "aha!" moments that perfectly illustrate what I mean:

I had a 121 scheduled with a confidence coach, Isaac Goldfarb, and I was assuming the meeting was going to be a standard one, talk about our professions, how we can help each other, some awkward jokes etc. Quite 'normal' in terms of how usual 121s are conducted.

However, I was pleasantly surprised when Isaac opened up to me when I asked him how his week had been and then asked a leading question about his experience. This then gave rise to a very insightful conversation about psychology around women in business, how we show up in male dominated industries and we, organically, spoke about our professions effortlessly in ways we showed our expertise. We each had natural opportunities to relate back to our professions, why we're passionate about them and the results of how we help our clients. It never felt forced and we just talked. Effortlessly.

The most insightful part of this conversation that stood out for me was the realisation that when in a networking setting, if a woman is not as confident in speaking about herself she is deemed as 'shy' but for a man he is deemed as 'weird'. Each has it's own consequence but it seems somewhat easier for a woman who is deemed 'shy' to bounce back but for a man he will need to prove himself in some shape or form for everyone to consider him differently. I found this topic fascinating and this 121 will definitely stand out for me and intrigue me enough to set up another one. The power of simply being human and having a conversation!

My second example involved a 121 with a copywriter, Mike Garner, and again I was making assumptions about how the conversation would go, bland, boring and basic.

However, again, I was pleasantly surprised. We started our 121 by randomly talking about family history when Mike dropped a subtle comment, "I'm a train nerd."

When most people would have heard that and kept conversation moving, my curiosity couldn't resist: "What does that mean, Mike?" And boom! The floodgates opened. Turns out, we both have train drivers in our family trees! Suddenly, talking felt easy because we'd connected on something truly personal.

Now, a bit of context, I'm not personally into 'trains' but I was curious to ask why he was. I used the 121 to learn about someone else, about an interest I have no experience in and a means to connect with someone new.

Now because Mike is a copywriter - we all know they are having a particularly hard time with AI - I wanted to learn what his experience has been and how he's navigating it. And he blew my mind by openly admitting he uses it (because, let's face it, who isn't these days?).

He sees it as a creative tool, not a replacement, that if we all don't learn to jump on board, you'll be left behind (forgive the slight train joke there!) – a refreshing take from a fellow creative trust me!

These two 121s are etched in my memory because we chatted about stuff that truly lit me up. The conversations were challenging, insightful, and miles away from a sterile "what can you do for me?" exchange. It means we now have a foundation t0 work with, they will be on my mind when I speak to anyone who may need their services because they were memorable. And that is the whole point of a 121 - being memorable.

So, How Do YOU Make Your 121s meaningful?

Remember, networking is a marathon. You might desperately want to sell your awesome product or service right now - but sometimes folks just aren't ready, or they don't need it right this minute, and that's ok! Because that absolutely doesn't mean they won't in the future, or know someone who will!

Here are some questions you can ask to invoke a memorable 121:

• Why do you do what you do? How did you get into it? Why are you so passionate about your industry?

  You get to understand their passion, why they get out of bed, why their profession is meaningful to them. Sometimes you'll find how you started out the same way.

• So tell me, X, what do you do for fun?

  This gets you to potentially connect over shared hobbies and interests - which is the easiest way to connect with someone else.

• What's a piece of advice you received early in your career that still shapes how you approach your work today?

  Use your 121s as a means to learn about business yourself. What mistakes or challenges has the other person overcome, can you apply their learnings to yourself?

• What's a skill you've learned recently that has unexpectedly impacted your professional or personal life?

  This then starts to touch on more personal things, if someone is willing to go there. This is when you can start to have memorable moments. If the person struggles, maybe you can share something of yours to help the conversation along.

• If you could go back in time to the start of your business again, what's one thing you'd tell yourself?

  If you're new in your business journey, this could be a great insight for yourself, if you've been on the journey a while, you can bond over shared experiences.

• What's a common misconception people have about your industry or what you do?

  Shows your interest in their industry and you're also learning about it. Sometimes you can use this information as a marketing research exercise.

If you don't like these questions use an AI to come up with others that you might resonate more with! 😉

Remember though, good networking is about giving - without expecting anything back... immediately. Think about how you can genuinely help someone, even if it's just a helpful suggestion or a connection. Or ask them to feel free to look at your Linkedin connections and you can connect them with someone (assuming you actually know em! haha).

And if you're able to - if you really connected, certainly have another 121 booked in and inbetween that time, send an article or something that resonates with the conversation you had. This shows you were actually listening and that you care - you also touch base with them again - getting them to remember you again!

Huge shout-out to Isaac and Mike! You two legends definitely put a pep in my step and reminded me why genuine connection beats a business card exchange any day of the week!

What's the most surprising thing you've discovered about someone during a 121? Share your memorable moments below!